By Melissa Meyer, DNP, PMHNP

If you’ve ever yelled “We don’t hit our sister with a lightsaber!” while stirring spaghetti, this one’s for you.

Sibling conflict is normal—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Especially when one child is sensitive, another is strong-willed, and both are convinced that the other one started it.

In the world of pediatric mental health, we call this... Tuesday.

The good news? Every sibling squabble is a chance to build empathy, communication skills, and emotional regulation—but only if we approach it with the right mix of structure and sparkle.

So today, we’re brewing up something special:
✨Peace Potions✨—Melissa-style strategies to turn sibling showdowns into meaningful, manageable moments.

💥 Why Sibling Fights Happen (Even in Loving Homes)

Siblings are built-in practice partners for:

• Learning boundaries

• Testing rules

• Figuring out fairness

• Exploring power

• Expressing emotion

And yes—sometimes pushing every single button they can find.

Underneath it all, most sibling fights are just kids trying to feel:

• Seen

• Heard

• Understood

• In control

They may not have the skills yet, but they have the feelings. And that’s where we come in.

🧪 Melissa’s Peace Potion Strategy

Let’s break this down into three steps—each one playfully named to make it easier for your child (and you) to remember and use when tensions run high.

🧂 Step 1: “Shake the Snow Globe” (Cool Down First)

When emotions are big, logic is offline.

Before any conflict can be resolved, everyone needs time to cool down their snow globe brains (aka their nervous system).

How to do it:

• Use breathing exercises (blow bubbles, deep belly breaths)

• Invite each child to their Calm Corner or comfort space

• Play soft music or give them 5 minutes apart with a comfort activity

What to say:

“Let’s give our brains time to settle. Like a snow globe—shake, then wait.”

🌿 Step 2: “Stir the Feelings Soup” (Talk it Out)

Once everyone is calm, invite your kids to express what happened—using visuals, roleplay, or sentence starters.

Tools that help:

• Feelings charts

• “I feel ___ because ___” prompts

• Drawing the story instead of telling it

What to say:

“Let’s stir our feelings soup. What’s floating around in there?”

Encourage each child to share without blaming. Validate both sides. Then guide them toward what could have helped in the moment (taking turns, asking for space, using kind words).

✨ Step 3: “Mix a Peace Potion” (Collaborate on a Resolution)

This is the fun part—let the kids work together to create a magical “Peace Potion” that helps prevent future fights.

It can be:

• A real jar filled with glitter, water, and calming oils

• A checklist of sibling “spells” like Share with care, Breathe before speaking, or Trade turns like wizards

• A handmade “Peace Pact” they decorate and hang in their room

Let them name the potion, draw a label, and “activate” it together the next time a disagreement starts brewing.

💬 What I Tell Parents

You’re not failing because your kids fight.
You’re not doing it wrong because they shout, cry, or say things like “I wish you weren’t my brother.”

Sibling relationships are a classroom for life—and you’re the steady guide who helps them learn how to stay connected, even when emotions flare.

Conflict isn’t the problem. It’s how we handle it that builds lasting trust and emotional skill.

💖 Final Thought from Melissa

The goal isn’t perfect peace.

It’s helping your kids learn how to:

• Feel big feelings without hurting others

• Repair trust with honesty and care

• Believe in their ability to do better next time

That’s the real magic.

So the next time there’s a sibling showdown, take a breath. Grab a jar. And remember: a little structure and a little sparkle go a long way.

📌 Try This Today:
Make a “Peace Potion Kit” with your kids—include glitter, calming scents, a feelings chart, and blank “Peace Spell” cards. Store it somewhere visible. The next time a fight erupts, pull out the kit and stir up some sibling solutions together.