By Melissa Meyer, DNP, PMHNP

Friendship is one of the most beautiful parts of childhood—and also one of the most complicated.

One day your child is inseparable from their bestie.
The next, they’re sobbing because they weren’t invited to a party or someone called them “weird” at recess.
Cue the heartbreak. The big feelings. The “I don’t want to go to school” moments.

If you’ve been there (and I bet you have), you’re not alone—and neither is your child.

That’s why I created Melissa’s Magical Guide to Friendship Feelings—a child-friendly, feelings-forward way to help kids navigate rejection, jealousy, and connection with confidence and compassion.

🧠 Why Friendship Is Emotionally Complex

Kids are still learning how to:

• Read social cues

• Regulate emotions in groups

• Cope with rejection

• Balance inclusion and independence

• Handle jealousy, comparison, and conflict

And unlike math or reading, friendship doesn’t come with a workbook—which means they’re figuring it out through trial, error, and a whole lot of “that didn’t go how I hoped.”

So let’s give them tools to understand what they’re feeling and what they can do about it.

🌟 The Three Most Common Friendship Feelings (And What They Mean)

💔 1. Rejection – “They don’t want to play with me.”

This one hurts. Rejection taps into the need to belong—and it can feel personal fast.

What to say:

“It’s okay to feel sad. Not everyone is going to be our forever friend—and that doesn’t mean you’re not amazing.”
“Can we think of someone else who makes you feel good when you’re with them?”

Tool to try:
Draw a Friendship Flower with your child. In the center is your child, and each petal represents someone who makes them feel safe, seen, or included—even if it’s not every day. This helps broaden their view beyond one relationship.

🐍 2. Jealousy – “Why are they playing with her instead of me?”

Jealousy is a normal, natural emotion—especially when kids feel left out or replaced. The key is to name it without shame and talk about it without blame.

What to say:

“It’s okay to feel left out. That just means you care.”
“Want to think about something fun we can do together instead?”

Tool to try:
Introduce the idea of Friendship Magic Dust—a pretend sparkle kids can “sprinkle” to wish someone else well, even when they’re hurting. It teaches empathy and resets the emotional tone.

🤗 3. Connection – “I love my friend SO MUCH!”

This is the best part of friendship—but even this feeling can get complicated. Intense connection can lead to clinginess, possessiveness, or confusion when a child wants space.

What to say:

“It’s wonderful to feel close to someone. But healthy friendships also have room for both of you to grow.”

Tool to try:
Make a Friendship Bubble Chart—draw two bubbles that overlap in the middle (like a Venn diagram). One bubble is your child, the other is their friend. In the middle go shared interests. On the sides, draw or list their unique interests and needs. This helps kids understand that togetherness doesn’t have to mean sameness.

✨ Melissa’s Tips for Growing Friendship Skills

• Validate the emotion first (“That makes sense.”)

• Name what’s happening (“That sounds like jealousy.”)

• Remind them friendships change—and that’s okay

• Model healthy boundaries in your own relationships

• Practice saying: “I need space,” “Can I join?” and “That hurt my feelings”

• Celebrate kind acts and brave moments in their friendships, no matter how small

💬 A Note from Melissa

Friendship feelings are big feelings. They carry joy, fear, hope, hurt—and everything in between.

If your child is struggling with friendship right now, they don’t need fixing. They need someone to walk beside them, reflect what they’re feeling, and remind them they’re still lovable, still growing, and still so very enough.

You are that someone.

You’re doing a beautiful job showing your child how to connect—through modeling, through listening, and through every brave conversation.

📌 Try This Today:
Create a Friendship First-Aid Kit with your child. Inside, place:

• Notes that say “I am enough” or “Friends don’t have to be perfect”

• A drawing of their Friendship Flower

• A glitter jar to shake when emotions feel cloudy

• A list of people they can talk to when they’re feeling lonely

Put it somewhere special. Let them know it’s always there—just like you.