You know that voice in your head?
The one that says:
“I’m not doing enough.”
“I messed that up again.”
“Why can’t I be more patient?”
Yep, that’s your inner critic.
Spoiler alert: your child has one too.
And while it may sound silly to talk about giving that voice a blanket… stick with me. Because today, we’re going to learn how to soothe, not silence, our inner critic—with curiosity, compassion, and maybe a few pillows.
Whether you’re five or fifty-five, self-compassion is a skill—and we build it by making our inner world a little softer.
🧠 What’s the Inner Critic, Anyway?
The inner critic is the part of us that gets really loud when:
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We make mistakes
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We feel embarrassed or ashamed
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We’re scared to try something new
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We compare ourselves to others
It often sounds like:
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“You’re not good at this.”
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“Everyone else is better.”
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“Why can’t you just get it right?”
Kids hear it after a test.
Parents hear it after a meltdown.
We all hear it. The trick is learning how to respond.
🛏️ Meet the Cozy Blanket Method
Instead of arguing with the critic or pretending it’s not there, Melissa’s favorite tool is simple:
Give your inner critic a cozy blanket.
Because underneath that harsh voice is usually fear, perfectionism, or a very tired part of us trying to stay safe.
🛠️ How to Teach Self-Compassion (for Kids & Grown-Ups)
🐻 1. Name the Critic (and Make It Less Scary)
Give it a name. A voice. Maybe even a cartoon character.
For example:
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“That’s Grumble Gus again. He thinks I can’t do anything right.”
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“Mine is Bossy Brenda. She gets loud when I’m nervous.”
Why it works: Naming the critic creates distance between you and the thought.
🧣 2. Wrap It in a Blanket (Literally or Imaginatively)
Let your child pretend to “wrap up” their inner critic in a soft blanket, like:
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A drawing
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A doll or stuffed animal
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Themselves in a real blanket, saying:
“It’s okay, little critic. You’re trying to help, but I’ve got this.”
Why it works: Comforting instead of battling the critic builds emotional safety.
💗 3. Say What You’d Say to a Friend
Would you say “You’re the worst” to a friend who made a mistake?
Of course not.
Practice:
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“It’s okay to make mistakes.”
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“One bad moment doesn’t make a bad person.”
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“I’m learning, and that’s enough.”
This works beautifully as a family mantra too.
✨ 4. Celebrate Imperfect Tries
Make a list of:
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Things you did even though you were scared
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Mistakes that helped you learn
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Tries that didn’t go as planned—but still counted
This shows your child (and you!) that courage matters more than perfection.
💬 What I Tell Families All the Time
Your inner critic is not the boss.
It’s just a voice that got a little too loud.
And when you model self-compassion as a parent—saying, “I had a tough moment, but I’m still a good parent”—you give your child permission to speak kindly to themselves too.
Kindness isn’t weakness.
It’s emotional strength in its gentlest form.
💖 A Note from Melissa
Self-compassion isn’t about pretending everything is great.
It’s about recognizing when something is hard—and responding with care instead of criticism.
So the next time your inner critic shows up?
Wrap it in a blanket.
Offer it a cup of cocoa.
Tell it:
“Thanks for trying to protect me, but I’m choosing kindness today.”
You deserve that. Your child does too.
And at Hazelwood, we’re here to help you build a home where every voice—even the nervous, grumpy ones—get held with love.
📌 Try This Today:
Make an “Inner Critic Cozy Kit” with your child. Include:
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A small blanket or scarf
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A notecard with kind reminders (“I can try again”)
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A drawing of their critic + their comfort character
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A glitter jar to watch when their inner critic is too loud
Want more self-compassion tools and cozy emotional care strategies?
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