The music says “be merry.”
The TV specials say “be magical.”
The social media posts say “look how perfect everything is!”
But your child is melting down over their socks.
You’re hiding in the pantry with a cold coffee.
And someone just said, “Aren’t you supposed to be having fun?”
Here’s the truth I want you to hold close this season:
🎁 Feelings don’t take holidays.
And they don’t need to.
They just need space.
Today’s post is your invitation to honor emotional overwhelm without guilt, without shame, and without needing to wrap it in tinsel.
🌪️ Why the Holidays Can Stir Up Big Feelings
Even joyful seasons come with pressure and disruption. Kids (and adults!) may experience:
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Sensory overload (noise, lights, crowds)
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Schedule changes or travel fatigue
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Grief, separation, or unmet expectations
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Social anxiety or family tension
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Just plain tiredness from too much of... everything
And sometimes, those feelings bubble over in the middle of the party, the dinner, or the photo shoot you planned three weeks in advance.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing the holidays wrong.
It means your child is human—and their nervous system is speaking up.
💡 How to Validate Big Feelings Without Derailing the Day
Validation isn’t about agreeing with behavior. It’s about saying, “What you’re feeling makes sense.”
Try saying:
“I see that you’re having a lot of feelings right now. It’s okay.”
“This day feels big, doesn’t it? Let’s take a breath together.”
“You’re allowed to feel upset, even when things are fun.”
Validation calms the brain, slows the heart rate, and makes room for regulation.
🛠️ Tools for Emotional Overwhelm (That Actually Help)
🎧 1. Create a Holiday Calm Kit
Pack a small bag with:
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Noise-canceling headphones
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Fidget toy or favorite stuffie
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Calming scent (lavender roller, favorite lotion)
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Mini glitter jar or visual timer
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A note from you: “You are safe. I love you.”
Let your child use it before they hit the wall.
🗓️ 2. Use a Visual Holiday Plan
The unknown is overwhelming. A simple picture schedule or checklist can help kids anticipate what’s next—especially helpful for neurodiverse kids.
Include “break time” and “quiet time” as part of the plan—not just as emergency exits.
🕯️ 3. Create Emotional Pause Moments
Designate a space in your home or at grandma’s that’s a “Feelings Spot.”
Not a timeout corner—but a comfy place to reset.
Use it during high-energy gatherings to say:
“Let’s take a quick feelings break so we can keep going with less stress.”
Even 3–5 minutes can prevent a meltdown.
💬 4. Debrief Without Shame
After the tears or outburst passes, help your child reflect kindly.
“That was a lot. You were overwhelmed, and we handled it together.”
“Next time, let’s try using our calm tool earlier.”
This builds trust and skills for next year’s holiday season, too.
🎄 Remember: Emotions Are Welcome Here
At Hazelwood, we believe in structure, compassion, and honoring the whole child—not just the cheerful parts.
So when feelings show up in the middle of your carefully planned day?
Welcome them.
Hold space.
Stay present.
Because your child isn’t ruining the holiday.
They’re revealing a part of themselves that needs your calm, not your correction.
💖 A Note from Melissa
I’ve seen kids cry during caroling, panic during parties, and hide under tables at dinners—and I’ve helped them come back to center, not through perfect plans, but through presence, permission, and love.
You can give your child that gift this holiday season.
And if you feel those big feelings too? That’s okay.
Your feelings don’t take holidays either.
So be gentle with yourself.
Be flexible with expectations.
And don’t forget to make room for peace, even in the messy, magical middle of it all.
📌 Try This Today:
Create a “Holiday Feelings Menu” with your child. Draw simple icons for common emotions (happy, excited, overwhelmed, mad, shy, tired) and let them point or circle how they’re feeling each day. It’s a low-pressure way to start conversations and offer support early.
Want more heart-centered tools for parenting through the highs and lows of the season?
Subscribe to Melissa’s Mindful Minute for calming rituals, emotional scripts, and gentle joy—delivered monthly with care from the Hazelwood team.