By Melissa Meyer, DNP, PMHNP
There’s something magical—and a little nerve-wracking—about the first day of school.
New classroom. New shoes. New teachers.
And those fluttery feelings in your child’s tummy?
That’s not lunch. That’s back-to-school anxiety—and it’s totally normal.
Whether your child is starting kindergarten, switching schools, or just feeling a little unsure after a long summer, this post is your guide to helping them feel brave, grounded, and ready—with a few Melissa-style tricks along the way (think butterflies, backpacks, and just enough sparkle to ease the nerves).
🦋 The Butterflies Are Real (and That’s Okay)
Before we jump into solutions, let’s normalize what your child may be feeling:
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Nervous about new routines
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Worried about making friends
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Afraid of being separated from you
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Unsure of what’s expected
Even if they’re excited, those little “what-ifs” can swirl in their belly like butterflies.
And just like real butterflies—they need gentle space to land and flutter through, not be shooed away.
🎒 Backpacks as Emotional Anchors
Backpacks aren’t just for books. They’re portable comfort zones.
Here’s how to turn your child’s backpack into a secret superpower:
🌟 1. Pack Emotional Tools
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A small photo of you or the family
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A fidget toy or calming object
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A “brave note” you tuck inside for them to find
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A tiny card that says: “You can do this.”
Let your child help choose their “courage items”—this gives them ownership and comfort at the same time.
✨ 2. Create a Backpack Ritual
Before they head out the door, do the Backpack Blessing:
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Place your hands gently on the backpack
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Say something like:
“This backpack holds your books... and all the love we packed inside.”
“You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.”
Even teens like this one (trust me).
📚 Storytelling Magic: Create a Back-to-School Tale
One of my favorite ways to ease anxiety? Turn it into a story.
Make up a tale together:
“Once upon a time, there was a kid named Brave Bean. Brave Bean was starting school again, and their heart had butterflies…”
Let your child help write the ending. Let them choose how Brave Bean makes a friend, overcomes a worry, or uses a tool in their backpack.
Story helps your child see themselves as the hero, not the victim, of this new chapter.
🌼 Grounding Rituals for the Night Before
The night before school doesn’t need to be crammed with last-minute checklists. It can be gentle and grounding.
Here’s a calming bedtime ritual:
1. The 5-Senses Backpack Scan
Have them name:
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One soft thing in their backpack
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One sound they’ll hear at school
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One smell that feels familiar
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One thing to look for (a color, a shape)
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One snack or treat they’re excited about
This helps connect their body to the environment ahead in a non-scary way.
2. The Butterfly Breath
“Take a deep breath in and imagine your breath lifting your butterfly wings.”
“Now blow your breath out slowly, letting the butterflies fly gently around you.”
Do 3 of these before sleep.
🛠️ Melissa’s Extra Tips for Easing First-Week Worries
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Walk the building if you can: Familiarity lowers anxiety
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Stick to simple routines: Breakfast, shoes, goodbye—same every day
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Give a “return plan”: “I’ll pick you up right after your snack.”
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Don’t over-reassure: Instead of “Don’t worry!” try “Let’s notice what helps when you do feel worried.”
💬 A Note from Melissa
Back-to-school brings up a lot—for our kids and for us.
You might feel your own butterflies too. That’s okay.
This is a season of change, and change is tender.
But here’s the truth I want you (and your child) to hold onto:
You are not starting from scratch.
You are growing from experience.
You’ve done hard things before.
And you’re more ready than you know.
Let the butterflies come.
Let them flutter.
Then step forward together—backpacks on, hearts open.
📌 Try This Today:
Help your child make a “Brave Bookmark” to tuck in their folder or lunchbox. Let them decorate it with their name, a courage word (like “strong” or “ready”), and a little drawing that makes them smile. Bonus: Add your own note on the back.
Want more back-to-school tools, printables, and parenting magic?
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